Lara' Marie

Back to the subject of my ex booskie/booskay. Thank goodness for Twitter & the follower that sent me a DM with the link to this long message thing that he wrote about me. I’m guessing he read my post from yesterday which problem means that he’ll read this one as well sooo in that case Hello Christopher ;) Okay let’s get back on topic here. Pretty much everything he wrote about was 100% accurate. There was one thing I did leave out in my previous post that he reminded me of. There was this guy that I was semi talking to at the time that everything with my family went down. But let me set the record straight,I did not tell that dude anything about my personal problems. Didn’t even know him for like 3 weeks. Shit if I wasn’t gonna tell Chris about it then I sure as hell wasn’t gonna tell the other dude about it lol. Dude was just there to support me and make me laugh which is what I desperately needed. I just wanted to get my mind off of my family for a while & he was able to do that which was something I wish Chris would have done =/ And that’s actually the main reason I got upset. The guy asked me one time if I wanted to talk about it & I said no. Then after that we just stayed on the phone talking about random shit for like 4 hours. But when Chris asked if I wanted to talk about it & I said no,he looked at it as I didn’t need him which was NEVER the case. I definitely take blame because I should have told him that I loved him and that he would always be number 1 but instead I led him to believe that another guy was taking his place,which could never happen by the way. I was gonna hit him up personally to say all of this but for some reason I communicate better when I’m talking to myself lol. Sooo yeah that’s why I blogged it :) Alright so bottom line is that I NEED my best friend back. But I know there’s still a lot of shit to be worked out. So for now I guess I’ll just be patient and see what happens.

-OneLove

If you read my last post,you’ll see that I mentioned how I found someone who keeps/kept me happy 24/7. Alright so somehow I was lucky enough to be in a relationship with her. After being with her for like a day,maybe two,she left me. Then we somehow found a way to get back together & maybe a week or so after that,she left me again lol. I’m sure she blames me for it all but probably fails to realize how horrible she really had become. Even had the audacity to curse me out a few times. Ohh and the said I was jealous of her “best friend”. lol see she’s pretty obsessed with her and thought I was jealous just because it basically made me sick how much she was in love with her. Ahh anyway,won’t be mentioning her again. Waste of my time. And as for my ex that I spoke about in my “Love” post,she’s still a part of my life but she has me thinking that she’s only maintaining our friendship to see if it could maybe once again become a relationship. Made me feel really used when she was like “so we’re not getting back together?” Think it may be time to cut her loose as well. But on a lighter note,I got a job =] May quit soon though lol. Taking out of my teenage years according to my parents. And hey,I agree. I was asked a few weeks ago why me & my “booskie/booskay” don’t clown around on Twitter anymore. I didn’t even reply to the tweet -_- See what had happened was (lol),had mad family drama going down and I wasn’t ready to open up to anyone about it but I still wanted support. But when I told him I didn’t wanna talk about what happened,he just went M.I.A. I kinda see why he was upset but then again I didn’t mean for it to seem like I couldn’t go to him and talk about whatever was bothering me. I just wasn’t ready. I was so emotional for like a week. Our friendship could have easily been fixed until he straight up said fuck you. It really hurt to have the only guy I’ve ever trusted to say that to me. And well I haven’t talked to him since. Not even sure how long it’s been. I guess about 2 months or so. Still think about him a lot though & hope he’s doing good. Ahh okay enough of that. I think that’s all the updates I have. Going to try and post a new blog up at least once a week but no promises.

-OneLove

Man it’s been so long since I’ve blogged! Oh my goodness. Well a lot has happened. Went through a really tough time with my family and on top of that I was dealing with a breakup. But everything is good now. Found a new person that keeps me happy 24/7. Finally realized who my real friends are. It was a low blow to have one of the only dudes that I’ve ever really trusted say “Fuck you” to me. But you know what,it doesn’t even matter. I was upset for a few hours then I really thought about it. And I came to the conclusion that if it’s fuck me then it’s fuck you too. Learning a lot from my past mistakes and he is definitely one of them. That’s all I have to say for now. I’ll be blogging more just not sure how often. Follow me on Twitter though =]

Sorry I didn’t post yesterday like I was supposed to. A lot has been going on in my life but everything is good now. Instead of talking about some random topic,I decided to post up one of my poems.

It’s called “R.I.P”

You’re just another ex that tries to progress by dating the rest even though you know I’m the best
The best you’ve ever had and the best you’ll ever get
Standing on the mountain crest
Seeing my future to the right but your image is posted to the left
Guess that means you’re history or someone to forget
Not thinking about you and the shit you made me regret
For a minute I was depressed,a little distressed and uh maybe even possessed
But I must confess that I’m truely blessed
Blessed that your out of my life and your memory has been laid to rest
Sorry if this is a little hard to digest
I write from my heart meaning uncensored and undressed
Dodged your painful bullets as if I had on a vest
Now I go solo like an individual protest
If you had to guess you’d swear I’m dying without your kiss
Ha well it’s obvious that’s a damn lie
Because without you here I continue to progress
You set me free as I put you on house arrest
Scared to leave the nest
Because Karma’s poison never forgets

Let’s talk about love shall we. So they say love makes you do crazy things. From personal experience,I completely agree. Long story short,I’m in an unhealthy relationship but I don’t want to get out of it. And the times that it did end,I always ran right back. Why? Because of love. I really don’t understand it though. Are the days of pain worth the few minutes of joy? Is being heartbroken just another one of life’s bridges? I guess there’s really no way to know the answers to those questions. I shouldn’t really be giving advice on this topic but I will say never let love blind you. That’s the easiest way to get hurt because you won’t see the betrayal coming.

-OneLove.

Topic today is flirting. Everyone knows what flirting is so there’s no need to explain. Is it okay to flirt while you’re in a relationship? That’s the question of the day right there. I don’t think it’s okay to flirt when you’re in a relationship. Especially not if it’s a long term relationship & you know your partner would not like you messing with other people. Even though I don’t think it’s right to do,I actually flirt with other girls knowing that I have a girlfriend. That’s pretty fucked up right lol. I don’t really know why I do it. I guess I just have a flirtatious personality. I always use that as an excuse but it’s the truth. I don’t think flirting is one of those things that could break up a relationship but I also don’t think it’s necessary to flirt when you’re inlove with someone. I need to practice what I preach. Sheesh!

-OneLove.

Haven’t updated lately because I was going through a tough situation. But now that things are better,expect a new blog to be up on Monday, May 3rd. Not sure of the topic yet. If you have any ideas,tell me on Twitter =]

-OneLove.

So I was on Twitter today complaining about my teenage siblings as usual and one of my followers had something very interesting to say. Okay so most of my cousins are either pregnant,on the verge of becoming pregnant,or have already had a child. So I said that most of them don’t have any self respect. And this young man on Twitter said “like no offense i wish there were more gurls like the many of ur cousins, where im at #fuckmylife”. I was a little puzzled when he told me this because I thought people liked young women who had respect for themselves. Do guys just go out and find girls that are easy targets? Hit it & quit it situation? I just don’t understand that. That’s the reason so many teen girls are pregnant right now. All because “men” and yes I use that term loosely,go out and find girls just to have sex with for a night with no intentions of ever becoming more serious than that. And unfortunantely,more than 1 of my relatives have fallen for that nonsense and have gotten knocked up by some random guy. It’s pathetic. Done talking about this.

-OneLove.